Have you ever played the game concentration? Because of all the time I spend at camps and at YWAM, working with kids you get you know these games. Such as "Big Booty", "Concentration" and other ones that don't have names or if they do, they probably have names that are different in different areas. Basically for "concentration" you have to say a number then if you are that number that was said, then you bounce being 'it' to the next number. But for those of you who have been with me in a big group of people, I have a really hard time concentrating on one thing for an extended period of time. (Unless it's really important, then I'm on task.) So the game of Concentration is not an easy one for me. But what got me on that topic is that I'm at Caribou, trying to work on homework, especially one paper I've been working on for a week and a half and I'm still not done and I cannot pay attention to the paper or what I'm trying to write.
I have to write on what it will take to convince the U.S. to change it's attitude about energy resources. I really don't care about this topic but I have to write it for my Intro to Geography course. Basically it sucks to write! I only have another few sentances left.
Last night I went to send off the FCC Mexico Mission Trip team and it was sad. But Sari and I were VERY awake at 3:00am and it was fun. Counselor training in use! Well, maybe life and training myself to snap to alertness. Anyways, which ever works.
Now I'm going to try and finish this paper for the whole 20 points its worth - talk about a stupid project. Thankfully I only have five more lessons in this course then I'm done forever! Praise the Lord!
Peace
27 February 2009
23 February 2009
Another Old Writing
Wishing too much, hoping to get away
Hurting too much, wishing to leave
I am wishing, wanting to leave
The hurt fills inside of me
I want to run away
Away from it all, I want to leave, run fast
Wishing only makes it worse
When will I be done here
I want out, away from this heartbreak
Away from the longing
Hurting from those around me
I want away
I want a place where there is no pain, no hurting too much
Friends stab knives, daggers, blood gushes from within
Broken I lay, cracked like a porcelain doll
Broken on the street
****This is from January 2006, not present day.
Hurting too much, wishing to leave
I am wishing, wanting to leave
The hurt fills inside of me
I want to run away
Away from it all, I want to leave, run fast
Wishing only makes it worse
When will I be done here
I want out, away from this heartbreak
Away from the longing
Hurting from those around me
I want away
I want a place where there is no pain, no hurting too much
Friends stab knives, daggers, blood gushes from within
Broken I lay, cracked like a porcelain doll
Broken on the street
****This is from January 2006, not present day.
New Stuff - And a little Old
I bought my plane ticket! To Mexico. On March 12. I’m excited! However, the lack of luggage has me stumped. I decided to buy a set the other day and then decided that it would not be big enough because of all the clothes, books and shoes necessary for the trip. Yes, I’m a girl and I did say necessary! So, my search continues tomorrow.
School is kicking my butt right now. I took another test and got a 72%. I hate when I change the right answer to the wrong answer because I doubt myself. It happened four times on this past test. And it was on culture too – one of my favourite things in life. Oh well, better luck next time! I have only five more tests for Geography and then all of the stupid little projects and then I’m done with the class! I’m so glad. I have yet to start my Psychology class but it will get done. It was on my to do list for this past week but I ran out of time since it is now 12:42am on Monday of a new week. Hopefully this week I will not be so lazy as far as homework (and working out) goes.
I went to The Well at my church tonight. Porter talked about how Jesus calls us to give up our desires, hopes, dreams and comfort for him. That is a really hard thing for me. I’m pondering. More later…
I’ve found a few of my really old writings so I’m going to share one with you now. I wrote this in class my senior year of high school. The date on it is November 8, 2005.
My walls could kill a man
Yet they don’t seem to keep you out
If you knew, what would you do
Are you seduced into a trance and think you want to dance
Really, once you see me for who I am
Reaching my inmost being
Seeing and believing
You wont want me
You wont see me
Because of my walls
I may end up moving you away and I’m sure you don’t want me
For who I really am
School is kicking my butt right now. I took another test and got a 72%. I hate when I change the right answer to the wrong answer because I doubt myself. It happened four times on this past test. And it was on culture too – one of my favourite things in life. Oh well, better luck next time! I have only five more tests for Geography and then all of the stupid little projects and then I’m done with the class! I’m so glad. I have yet to start my Psychology class but it will get done. It was on my to do list for this past week but I ran out of time since it is now 12:42am on Monday of a new week. Hopefully this week I will not be so lazy as far as homework (and working out) goes.
I went to The Well at my church tonight. Porter talked about how Jesus calls us to give up our desires, hopes, dreams and comfort for him. That is a really hard thing for me. I’m pondering. More later…
I’ve found a few of my really old writings so I’m going to share one with you now. I wrote this in class my senior year of high school. The date on it is November 8, 2005.
My walls could kill a man
Yet they don’t seem to keep you out
If you knew, what would you do
Are you seduced into a trance and think you want to dance
Really, once you see me for who I am
Reaching my inmost being
Seeing and believing
You wont want me
You wont see me
Because of my walls
I may end up moving you away and I’m sure you don’t want me
For who I really am
13 February 2009
Swinging Door
It's February. Where did January go?
Caty, (my sister) was home for three weeks and it was lovely! She and I had a bang up good time. There is nothing like a relationship with a sister.
Since I didn't update in January, let me try to fill you in.
I made a trip to Crown College and then the YWAM base in Rockford, MN. The YWAM base is huge! And beautiful! The best part was seeing my friends Tammy and Eddie from Mexico. It was weird seeing them here instead of in Ensenada. But it was great. We had a lot of fun and it was special for my sister to be able to see YWAM life and learn about that part of my life.
My friends Traci and Luke were married on January 2. It was a beautiful wedding and I'm so happy for them! They are now living in Florida so a trip there may be in the future.
I got to spend a measurable amount of time with my friend Leah. I hadn't seen her for a year and it was wonderful to spend time with her! She is full of spunk and zest and we had some fun times together!
My life has kind of become a swinging door of friends going in and out. That has been kind of hard but I'm glad that I've been able to have those times with the special people in my life.
In other news.... I withdrew my application for the Primary Health Care School. The money did not come in and now is not the right time for that. I'm hoping to be able to do that YWAM school at some point but we shall see.
I mentioned above that I had looked at Crown College. I have decided to finish college, or at least make the attempt. I've done online classes and a semester at Univ. of WI - River Falls and I'm ready to just have my college career finished. I have decided to major in Community Health Care with a minor possibly in Spanish or something else. Unfortunately Crown does not have any foreign languages and so I'm looking at Bethel University now.
March brings another change! I'm heading to Mexico once again to work with Mission Adventures in Ensenada! I'm SO excited! The theme this year for the program is Re-Act. Back in November or December I had written a devotional to go along with the theme and it has been printed in the devotional book that the English speaking students will read for both spring and summer. Talk about exciting. I screamed when I read the email telling me that I was published. For a long time it has been a goal to be published.
Caty, (my sister) was home for three weeks and it was lovely! She and I had a bang up good time. There is nothing like a relationship with a sister.
Since I didn't update in January, let me try to fill you in.
I made a trip to Crown College and then the YWAM base in Rockford, MN. The YWAM base is huge! And beautiful! The best part was seeing my friends Tammy and Eddie from Mexico. It was weird seeing them here instead of in Ensenada. But it was great. We had a lot of fun and it was special for my sister to be able to see YWAM life and learn about that part of my life.
My friends Traci and Luke were married on January 2. It was a beautiful wedding and I'm so happy for them! They are now living in Florida so a trip there may be in the future.
I got to spend a measurable amount of time with my friend Leah. I hadn't seen her for a year and it was wonderful to spend time with her! She is full of spunk and zest and we had some fun times together!
My life has kind of become a swinging door of friends going in and out. That has been kind of hard but I'm glad that I've been able to have those times with the special people in my life.
In other news.... I withdrew my application for the Primary Health Care School. The money did not come in and now is not the right time for that. I'm hoping to be able to do that YWAM school at some point but we shall see.
I mentioned above that I had looked at Crown College. I have decided to finish college, or at least make the attempt. I've done online classes and a semester at Univ. of WI - River Falls and I'm ready to just have my college career finished. I have decided to major in Community Health Care with a minor possibly in Spanish or something else. Unfortunately Crown does not have any foreign languages and so I'm looking at Bethel University now.
March brings another change! I'm heading to Mexico once again to work with Mission Adventures in Ensenada! I'm SO excited! The theme this year for the program is Re-Act. Back in November or December I had written a devotional to go along with the theme and it has been printed in the devotional book that the English speaking students will read for both spring and summer. Talk about exciting. I screamed when I read the email telling me that I was published. For a long time it has been a goal to be published.
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